Reflecting the last hour of my 2012 Birthday

Hi dblchinis!
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My birthday for 2012 is officially over.
I've so much to reflect upon, my life: past, present, future...
I'm glad I read about 'The Secret' a couple of days before my birthday. I used to think life is just life, sometimes U get Lemonade, sometimes just squashed Lemons. The days when life suck, I resent upon the universe, dwelling about the unfairness that I always (dammit always!) end up getting nothing. I sulk and swear upon my inner demon, always telling me to that I never do anything great.
There are times I had so much positivity in life, I actually cut myself some slack to stop thinking about the brighter side.

Bitch please, what do I exactly want?

Life is like wheel of fortune, sometimes you get small amounts of luck, sometimes a hefty piece and sometimes... 'Bankrupt' just hits right on even though is 1 in 25 chance of hitting that shit. What I didn't know is, I could actually avoid all odds landing my life on that fraction of wheel that says 'You are fucked, you'll never be better than anyone, You'll always be ugly...add another 101 sob stories to that.

Actually this Blog serves as reminder of how far I've gone, from my insignificant outlook to people showering me with praises which I like to call it love.
My appearance altered at an alarming speed with just the right makeup tools, it gives me the power to do more great things.
I walked out of my sorry past whereby friends ostracized my existence, I went through hell you cannot even imagine. I'm not sorry to say that they left me for good.
Oh, let me rephrase that ' I LEFT THEM'. Their loss.
I never felt better emerging myself out of those shadows, I'm like a walking magnet since, I attracted Good friends, people who care about me with no hidden agenda.

But what did I do exactly to walk out of this?
The truth is, I just have to feel grateful every time something nice is granted to me. Period.

When I broke off with my abusive Ex-boyf who beat the shit outta me, I was pathetic, useless and felt like a whore half the time. Covered with injuries, I limped my way home home into the arms of my family who gave me support and strength. I cried over spilled milk for a while and decided to pick myself up again.
I told the world that the next person who comes to my life would be someone unimaginably awesome, with a big heart, well mannered, loves animals and probably has a giant dick.
Along came Mr Lim, who has all the nicest qualities (oh, stop asking about the dick.) He stood by me, no matter rain or shine. Our love took 10 years to prove its worth, I would be lying to you if I hadn't thought of beheading him at times, his strong headed nature sometimes makes me wana hit the roof. In the beginning of our romance,we exchanged heated arguments many times in front of our friends. Actually I kinda enjoyed that, I never had a chance to argue with my Ex, no not that I love that monster, I'm afraid of him.

With Mr Lim around no matter how bad our arguments were, he never stays angry for long. He doesn't dig stories of his ex gf just to spite me around. He never resort to physical violence and always managed to valid his way out with reasons that sounds legit, argh I hate myself not being smart enough.
I know at the end of the day, I still want to be in his embrace.
He respect his elders, show tenderness towards little animals, loves kids & looks like IP man.
ok that, nevermind.

He is my bestest friend, only husband, my soulmate.
& I'm sure he'll be a great daddy in time to come.
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I'm more than happy with just a birthday cake.
Because I know I appreciate gratefulness, I can looking forward to receive more positive energy from the universe. Ok concrete materialism in form of presents are still welcome.
Thank u (yes u, Universe) for hearing my call and giving my this imperfect man that makes my life perfect.

Happy Belated Birthday dblchin.

6 comments:

Haru said...

You look so glowing and happy now, glad you found Mr Right and your soulmate who treats you right! Belated happy birthday and may the future bring you even more happiness :-)

Elaine73 said...

Im so happy for u dear! Everyone deserve love. Esp such a sweet girl like u. xoxo

Jen said...

Happy bleated Birthday gorgeous, I'm glad you've realized so many good things and how far you've come. I'm glad you're happy and that you've found the one for you. I hope there will be a mini you & him one day soon :D Stay positive and happy <3 you deserve it ^^

Feliza said...

Happy belated birthday, Clara. A post with deep and sincere thoughts penned out, or rather, typed out. Glad you are so happy now, and thanks for sharing your story. May your great love continue... and ZAO SHEN GUI ZI! :p

Hazel said...

Happy Belated Birthday Clara!
I also wrote my birthday thoughts for my birthday as well.
Its a way for me to see how i grow just like u!

ladyck said...

happy belated birthday Clara!!
really touching post!